Day 27 to 40

What a journey! As the chapters came to life in new ways this time around, I found my heart in a different state of loving Eric. A refresher but with an understanding based on the past years' experiences. God has given me a gift in my husband, especially as the Holy Spirit has enabled him in this season of our marriage. I pray that my commitment to us will not only encourage Eric's own growth in the Lord but testify to him that our example for our children will have been cemented in Truth, strong enough to break the cycle of our family history. Let our marriage, and my role as wife, be a holy offering to my Father in heaven. I can only imagine the blessings that you women are experiencing in your own homes! May the Lord continue to strengthen you as you go forth to love your husbands in ways you never dreamed capable of. God bless and Amen

Day 15 to 26

Turns out consistancy is still not my thing. I am sorry about this huge gap in entries. I have been reading the dares 1, 2, or 3 at a time depending on the days distractions but as of right now, I am all caught up. I hope you are as well. There have been a lot of chapters lately that really challenged me in that I don't have much to say. I have asked the Lord to reveal areas in our marriage that I am not addressing or that are bigger issues than I give them attention. I know that is not necessarily the case for most who would take this challenge on. Friends, I am here to support you none-the-less. I am praying for you constantly! Keep on keeping on, Kate

Day 12, 13, and 14

Saturday - I am sorry I can't share more today ladies, but there just aren't any disagreements we are having currently. I am hoping to do the exercise the next 'thing' that comes up.

Sunday - We had already set up these rules of fighting the last time I did this dare and we agreed to the ones outlined in the book. Sounds perfect to me.

Monday - I like to watch TV when I do laundry after the kids go to bed. I decided to tuck Eric in when he went to bed early tonight. He doesn't love when I stay up later than him so I snuggled with him until he was ready to go to sleep and then came down to finish up my chores and computer stuff.

Short but sweet. Kate

Day 9, 10, and 11

Well, at least I am consistent.

The greeting. I am pretty good at hellos in comparison to goodbyes. Eric is into texting every morning now that he joined this century so I have reciprocated the morning greeting with matched enthusiasm. I actually enjoy that he's thinking of me even when I assumed the opposite as he isn't in a place where he can usually talk, so he doesn't call often.

The demonstration. Well that was kind of difficult as today was Thanksgiving and we spent all day together. He had planned to go shopping with me in the evening and as the day wared on he was thinking against it. I had already made arrangements for my mom to stay with the girls overnight but I 'chose' to let him off of the hook. I said nothing about disappointment or wasting my mom's evening. Gladly, he re-changed his mind later in the evening. I think it could have been much less pleasant had I guilted him into going. This way, he enjoyed it. I actually pooped out first!

To cherish him. Not gonna say much about how I showed that but we've come to a very healthy place in our appreciation of each other's physical bodies. I have struggled in the past with inadequate feelings about my body. Some were a result of truth and some were (are) based on worldly lies. I believe that agape love sees the human body of our spouse with spiritual eyes. We see the soul with skin. I do not have other words to describe it. I can only agree that it is different than the lust that was discussed in that earlier chapter.

Blessings to you and your husbands ladies. May you cherish every opportunity to be Jesus to this man!

Kate

Day 6, 7, and 8

Wow! I never thought it would be so hard to keep this blog up each day. I apologize for the 3 day increments. I hope this finds you still at the daily dares or catching up if you got a little behind. I ask the Lord to encourage each of us right now, that we'll desire to love our spouses better, or at least as much as, we love ourselves. Their position deserves that much even if we do not "feel" like they deserve it themselves.

Areas where I need to add margin? I understood this as times I could sacrifice to create a healthier environment or self for my marriage. I am constantly on the go and sometimes even busier when I am in our own house. It has been suggested to me on several occasions, and not only by my husband, that I make time for rest. The Bible even says it's important! I will add margin to my sleeping time as well as general rest. As for wrong motivations, I think the blatant selfishness is always something I can work towards eliminating as a motivation. I pray for a servants heart but will admit that I am sometimes motivated to serve because I know how good it will make me look. I justify that I am personifying Jesus but know deep down that I crave attention. Father, and friends, forgive me.

Appreciation and depreciation. The current state of things allows me to have a much easier time with the former. The list goes on and on. If I were frustrated with Eric, or our relationship, I may have had the complete opposite reaction to this challenge. One note I'd like to make is based on the time I did this dare a few years back and realized that the positives were things I saw in him that I wished I had or was more like and the negative were things that I really struggled with and must have expected him to be better at. I thanked Eric for being fun. And for a change, this is something I see us both being really good at: :)

Super easy to destroy the negative attributes list. Who wouldn't want to make it all burn away anyway? I love to celebrate Eric's triathlon successes and his work with guys in his high school ministry. I also try to be very encouraging of friendships he is growing. I do admit that I get a tad jealous of his self control/discipline and the physical results of his triathloning but I will continue to encourage him in whatever makes him happy and hopefully keep motivated myself by his joy.

Here's to hoping I make it back tomorrow, Kate

Day 3, 4, and 5

Day three's challenge was not accomplished until day 4 as there was no money left in the envelope for buying that unselfish gift. I did however manage to make up for it in otherways. It was quite unselfish, in my opinion;) The 'thoughtful' day was another extreme challenge to execute as we spent the entire day together and were never apart for more than 15 minutes for me to call and ask how he was doing. Kind of frustrating but I also made a point to follow through on day 5. I am a check it off of the list kind of gal. Day 5 used to be the one I dreaded but had made it a part of my spring cleaning routine over the last few years, checking in on my progress. Last night, Eric could only think of one thing he would caution me about. I asked what I could change and he only said 'caution' as I might not be doing it, but have a tendency to fall into. He also could only think of 1 thing when I asked for 3. He must have been tired. He used to give me several answers to that same question. Humbling as it is, his request was for me to be conscious of exaggerating. That's such a hard truth to swallow. I already struggle with honesty where he does not and it must be dissapointing and dishonoring to him when I am less than what I desire. It doesn't only affect me! Pray for me ladies. That I may honor my husband by telling nothing but the truth and choose not to make my stories 'more interesting' to get attention. This has been a hard day of processing and prayer but I know it will ultimately lead to a stronger marriage in the end, and I, a stronger person of character.

See you later tonight as I am off to tackle day 6

Day 2

Kindness. Seems simple enough, until they break it down. This challenge can cause us to measure our spouses 'kindness' rather than stir up ideas of how we can choose to be kind ourselves. I think of the verse where it's said, "even the pagans do this". Common people can be 'kind' to strangers, a Christian spouse should be above and beyond that towards the one whom we vowed to spend the rest of our lives loving. The call is great and the workers are few. I chose today to live out kindness with an emphesis on initiative. Forethought is usually my style. Today was another weekday where we saw eachother very little; but none the less opportunity is upon me. Eric is working tonight and will need to get up early for work in the morning. I usually do not make his lunch unless he asks me to, but I am going to do it anyway. I will put it in the fridge, the way he does it for himself, the night before. I hope that I guess correctly on what he will like and if he changes his mind, I will be ok with that. Good luck to all of you creative minds. I can't wait to hear what you've been able to accomplish. Go love on your man!

Goodnight:)

Day 1

Here we are ladies! The challenge is upon us and today, patience is it's name. I woke up to my husband riding his bike trainer in the livingroom. Last year around this time was the same picture and the image would get me fuming inside. Is he going to leave it there all day and I have to keep the kids off of it and what if I wanted to mop the floors. And, and, and...I am thankful to say that a year later, and obvious growth in the patience department, those old thoughts never even entered my mind. Today's dare was easier as our time spent together was brief but had it been a weekend day, things might have been more colorful. I am happy to report that, as of the hour, nothing negative has been uttered towards Eric and I will pray throughout the rest of the evening to keep it up. Blessings to you all for a day finding strength in the Lord when you did "more than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth".

Until tomorrow, Kate

The best Christmas Gift for my husband

Well ladies, Christmas is just around the corner and it has been on my heart to start a group of women who are willing to challenge themselves in their marriages. I cannot think of a better gift for my husband or yours. Starting November 15th we will journey together, each of the 40 days until Christmas. My hope is that we will encourage each other through this blog. Feel free to post struggles, ask questions, or simply use this as a journal for each of your daily challenges (Love Dare related). Invite your girlfriends, daughters, and mothers as we stand together for stronger marriages. If you do not already have the book, or cannot find it at your local library or bookstore, here is a link: http://thelovedarebook.com/

I can't wait to hear all of your success stories! Kate